John Mellencamp Community

The latest news on John and Elaine appears to be that they are indeed splitting up after 20 years.

According to John's publicist..."John and Elaine Mellencamp are proud of their 20 years together and are very happy with their accomplishments both as parents and as a family," the couple's representative said in a statement issued Thursday. "They will continue to raise their two children in Indiana but have decided to call it a day as a couple."

news links:

http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/Music/2010/12/31/John-and-Elaine-Mellencamp-split-up/UPI-43581293783300/
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20101231/people_nm/us_mellencamp
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101231/ap_en_mu/us_people_john_mellencamp

I know that this news is devastating to us all. I hope that, as we have always done as fans of John Mellencamp, that we give this news, and John and Elaine, the respect and support they deserve. Our hopes have always been, and always will be, for John, Elaine, and their family, to be happy in their lives together. Whatever the circumstances and reasons, the Mellencamp's are redefining their lives and their happiness. I know I can speak for all of us when I say that I hope the process is one of grace, love, respect, forgiveness, and in the end, a new found happiness for the entire family. You have our support; our thoughts are with you.

I hope this is the forum to share our reactions, even if some disapprove.

I am personally shocked.  They always seem to be so happy together.  Neither one of them needed anything from the other.  I know that Elaine brought out the best in John.  He was a much different person from 1991 on.  I won't give her all the credit.  A heart attack and life experiences through aging certainly have a lot to do with that as well.  However, she was there for all of it.

I sure hope this is as mutual as it sounds now.  I also hope that John does not lose his creative edge and desire to record.  The boys are older, but divorce sucks no matter what age you are.  It would be awesome if they truly intend to stay nearby in Indiana to finish what they started in raising 2 fine boys.

I wish John, Elaine and the boys all the best. 

I wish them all the best, especially the kids its not fair to them. I dont know the circumstances but the marriage obviously wasnt working anymore.  What I find is sad is the fact John always jokes about how the "family doesnt like him much anyways" he said it recently on Letterman.  If your having family issues you dont joke about things like that unless your a little messed up in the head.  I love Johns music but I think we all know he is not a role model.  Elaine deserves better then a grumpy old man who is basically waiting to die. I still like Mellencamp and think hes a good person and has amazing music, hes just a strange individual which im sure fuels his creative side. 

Everyone has a different way of dealing with things and maybe for John to joke about it, well, that is his way of getting through it. Although, I am a little confused on your words WILDNIGHT......you say you still like Mellencamp and wish them all the best but you have said some mean things in your post. Why isn't he a role model? And you refer to him as a grumpy old man who is waiting to die?????? For real??  That is what you see??? If this split didn't happen, did you feel like this before, like Elaine deserved something better??  Wow, we all perceive things differently I guess. I disagree whole heartedly, right down to saying he is a strange individual.

This does not shock me at all. I was at the Nasville concert very close to the stage, he had some very strong interaction with a girl that he later  pulled up on the stage. I had been to several concerts before and saw him interact with his fans, but not like this. I actually came home and goggled about John and Elaine spliting up because the interaction didn't feel right to me. 
But as far as his marriage goes, I somewhat understand their splitting. I have been married 30 years to a man 10 years older than I am. Yes, I do totally understand how people just grow and have different perspectives on things at different times in their lives. As you get older it seems the age gap widens. I just wish each of them all the best.
I certainly do not not see John as an old man waiting to die. He is my favorite artist and always will be. Best Wishes, John and Elaine

wonder what lyrics he'll put in when he sings "small town'.........

It's just my frustration talking, I just feel like his cocky/grumpy/sarcastic attitude we all find funny in his interviews spills into his home life.  I know this doesn't seem fair to speculate but his track record in relationships isn't very good. I'm sure john has a good heart and wouldn't hurt a fly, but he always has that attitude that leads me to believe it may have had something to do with the breakup. This is just my opinion I'm sorry if it offends anyone.

I'll leave it at this, its sad to see the relationship that made john a better person over with, I wish him the best of luck finding what makes him happy

 :(

It was way beyond stunning to hear this news.  I am so sad for all involved because it had to be a very difficult decision.  It always seemed that John and Elaine had a very solid, stable relationship and that Elaine's calm reserve did in fact "center" John.  I just wish they could work this out and find the passion they once had.  I worry that John may go off the rails like he did with his second divorce and let us all hope and pray that this "split" will not lead to that result.  John has previously said in interviews that Elaine was not real crazy about all his touring and she did probably manage to curtail the duration somewhat.  And now with 2 teenage boys - that is not easy and bound to create a lot of conflicts.  His comment on Letterman I didn't think a lot about the first time because John is pretty self-effacing but now I do wonder.  His crazy schedule in 2010-2011 which led to the box set, No Better Than This, the musical with Stephen King and the unrelentless tour schedule probably did take its toll on the relationship.  John loves all of this but maybe he should refocus on the boys and maybe Elaine.  It is just way too sad to think this is happening.  I sure do hope and pray that maybe this "separation" is only that and they find their way back to each other.

To sad to contemplate right now.

jcooprx

Like everyone else, I am sad to see the end of what appeared to be a great partnership.  As a fan, I was grateful for John's continued energy and amazing creative output in 2010 (two albums, two tours, several special performances). Yet it seems it was also a year in which he suffered great loss in his personal life.  In addition to his separation from Elaine, John mentioned on the NPR World Cafe program that his good friend Mark Ripley had died in October. 

John always seems stoic and realistic about change and death ("know that dying's as natural as birth, and our troubles here don't last long") but I can only imagine that there is profound sadness lurking behind the jocular exterior we saw recently on Letterman. I hope that John will find the same comfort and peace that his music has provided to so many of us over the years.

Wow is all I can say.  I too noticed the absence of certain pieces of jewelry when John was on David Letterman, funny how you do that!

Don't know what else to say right now.  Thoughts are out to John, Elaine and all the kids.

Spotted this article today:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20454251,00.html (http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20454251,00.html)

I Love John Mellencamp because he writes songs that relate and inspire me as a writer. I also think he is one of the only genuine musicians and people on this earth. His music has gotten me through some really tough times that include losing my grandmother to cancer, a terrible breakup with a girl, and family issues. I wish you pure happiness Mr. Mellencamp and your kids and Elaine. Let's respect his privacy and not intervene in his personal life with our assumptions. Thank you for all of your music and knowledge.

I totally agree. It is not our place to speculate on what has or has not happened.  Basically, other than to wish the whole family best wishes, it is none of our business.

Referring back to the post that said John was a grumpy old man, first you have to realize that Elaine is much younger than John and maybe she should have thought about that before she married him.  With John just turning 59 and going on tour, I had the pleasure of seeing him in Kansas City and absolutely loved the show, he talked more to the audience like I had never seen him do much before. If you listen to the lyrics in "Clumsy Old World" you can tell that there are problems, and "dont forget about me", is one of my favorites.  So, I suggest you listen to the CD if you dont have it.  As far as his family goes, I think he was talking about his extended family as well, like a brother he mentions in a song that he hasnt seen in 6-7 years.  So before you go calling him a grumpy old man, there are 2 sides to the story.  John is a Libra, they are perfectionists, and if you think thats grumpy, then you need to focus your negative comments about him somewhere else.  No matter what happens, as I do not know John personally, I will always give him my support, hes the only artist I believe in and have for 30 years now. 

everyone is entitled to their opinion.  i'm fairly certain that most people who frequent this website have heard the latest cd, as well as all previous ones.  and hindsight is 20/20.   it's not our place to judge john, elaine, or anyone else.

whatever happened between john and elaine is between john and elaine.  as fans, sure we may feel somewhat attached to them, but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors except those who are behind them.  

we can choose to respect their decision, honor their privacy, not attack them or each other, and wish the best to all involved.  otherwise, we're no better than the tabloids.  

That was one of the first things I thought of after the surprise wore off!  lol...terrible, right?

Right-  I think we can all speculate on what we think may have happened.  But none of us will ever know for sure.  We can all listen to the lyrics of the music and hear what we think may be a hint at what is going on in his life, but only John & those closest to him know what in the songs is reality and what is pure creative license.

What I hope is that we do all choose to respect their right to privacy and allow others here to feel comfortable in expressing their feelings & thoughts, being mindful that this is a site for FANS of John & were likely supportive of John & Elaine's marraige.

Very tastefully put; well done!  While this site is a great forum for discussions about John's life, all aspects of it, respect and decency should be expected and speculation is best left to the press.

Hey guys I didn't mean to start anything, I just have an opinion and that is that John MAY have messed up.  I go to his shows and buy his music. I will continue to do this, hes the only artist that I enjoy investing money into.  Im sure that John is a good person but hes abrasive, I wont use the word grumpy anymore. Lastly I hope that this is'nt true but several reports today have stated that John and Meg Ryan are now a couple and she has been at several of his shows.  Im sorry guys its just that right now I am going to take Elaines side, I hope you can all appreciate that I can be a fan of John and his music despite this.

 http://www.showbizspy.com/article/223072/elaine-mellencamps-husband-john-mellencamp-hooks-up-with-meg-ryan-report.html

i personally don't feel you started anything.  like i said earlier, everyone is entitled to their opinion.    i just hate to see people here judging other people for that opinion.   

i think it's just such a sensitive subject which saddened a lot of people.

LOL....just trying to see the light side of it all...his life is his..we're just his fans....(and GOOD ones at that!!)

Could someone please let me know how to post a new topic???? my question is has mellencamp ever performed Warmer Place To Sleep live? andwhat was his setlist durin the uh-huh tour?

Please keep in mind that those reports all come from one and the same gossipreport. The notorious PageSix, who often is very wrong with their stories. Even if they have been spending some time together, that does not mean they are 'involved' and it does not mean Meg Ryan somehow caused the breakup of their marriage. The two people inside the marriage are responsible for the marriage and we don't know what happened there and we also don't know when the real breakup happened.
Gossipsources will write whatever makes them the most money, regardless of the real story.

From what I heard, Meg and John have been friends for a while. As in f-r-i-e-n-d-s. But like you: I hope they are not a couple. Shocking as this may sound: I think Meg Ryan could do better than John.

All I want to say is that I would hate to be a person in the public eye in these days of the internet, twitter, facebook, etc.

She got tired of kissing a guy with nasty cigarette breath

Not sure if anyone else has seen this but John filed for a divorce last Friday. The same story mentioned that Elaine was in LA for a weekend and attended a Golden Globes party with some guy whose name just slipped my mind! It said they are only friends and that she and John had been separated for months. It's sad; that's all that can be said. I wish everyone involved well and hope things will work out for them. Especially Hud and Speck who I know has to be suffering through this with all the internet buzz and things. My parents divorced when I was 9. I couldn't imagine how it would be if the whole world knew about it!

Last night for dinner I made my special secret ingredient  sauted scallop dish with brown rice and brussel sprouts (lightly seasoned and with a splash of olive oil). We also had a splendid mixed green salad. It was most enjoyable.

It's posted on HumanWheels that Elaine is taking back her name...I guess to just Elaine Irwin.  I always thought that was a truly beautiful sounding name.....BUT......didn't she live with John long enough to know that from now on she will be referred to as Elaine Irwin, formerly Elaine Irwin Mellencamp, formerly Elaine Irwin??

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary in Michigan

Yes, it's one of my favorite dishes. It goes really well with fresh green beans also. I'd elaborate a little more but my little girlfriend is barking up a storm outside and I must investigate. I saw some strange looking scat today close to the house.

It was reported that John is the one requesting for Elaine to take back her maiden name.

What to cook for tonight's dinner? Decisions, decisions.
I believe pork chops re on sale at the market. Perhaps, if I manage to make it to town today, I will purchase three of them.
Or...........I will need to remove something tasty from the freezer, and remove it soon as it will need time to defrost.
Decisions. 

Rich,

I need that scallop and brussel sprout recipe.  Honest!

Dar

OK, but it's a secret recipe so don't tell anyone.

Cook brown rice.
Prepare brussel sprouts

Wash 15 large scallops, pat dry, sprinkle seasoning ( I use Old Bay, or something similar)
Put the seasoned scallops in a baggie and pour in a little soy sauce ( I use Aloha brand)
Put them puppies back in the fridge for 30 min max.
Saute onions and garlic, then put them on the side ( just soften them up)

chop mushrooms, green onion, and a little cilantro

Steam brussel sprouts

Heat pan to proper temp,  add a little olive oil.
Throw those scallop in and once they get cooking add the onions and garlics. When you turn them over add the mushrooms and green onion. Squeeze a little lemon juice over everything.
Cook em till their nice and yummy but don't overcook.
When done put on a dish/platter, throw uncooked cilantro over platter of scallops.

Once the brussel sprout are done (hopefully not all overcooked and mushy) add a touch of olive oil and a dash of Mrs Dash.

I serve each plate from the stove with the rice and vegetable and put the platter of scallops on the table, thereby less dishes to wash.
 

Can you be at my place by 5:30 to make dinner?   ;)

It is very sad to see a family spit. I wish the best for John, Elaine and the kids.

John is the one asking Elaine to take back her maiden name???!!  What the heck is going on!!??  I'm sorry but this is all too weird.  I know divorces are crazy, but why would he do that?  Legal reasons? 

And what's with the menus and recipes?  I got reamed out on another leg for talking about John talking about Elaine on A & E....because it was a leg for A & E and not talking about John & Elaine....even though John was talking about John and Elaine on A & E...so why are we discussing food under the John and Elaine leg. 

Not that I'm against food.....

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary in Michigan

The food stuff is supposed to make you stop talking about john and elaine, but this is a john and elaine discussion, so mary you are more then welcome to talk about it  :)

"beige to beige thats all it is these days"

I didn't want to be mean, but I was wondering the same things about the recipes. It's kind of disappointing to think there's a new post about the topic and to only find a recipe.

As far as John and Elaine, it does seem odd to me that he would want her to take her maiden name back especially since they have children. If it were me, I would see that as an insult for his even asking. But on the other hand, I would want my maiden name back if I divorced my husband. (I've been married 30 years)
I usually saw Elaine referred to as Elaine Irwin anyway, so I don't think she actually benefited from his name on a professional level.

My Recipe For "Walking Tall"

A little GRACE
A fair share of MERCY
And a whole lot of FORGIVENESS

Mix all 3 ingredients together and you can always look yourself in the mirror.

Thanks for the lyrics John.

I like that, such a great song and video

This is also a good song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcy6c1D5qSM&feature=related

Mind Your Own Business?!

You can't be serious?  You don't really expect us to stop speculating and stop wondering and stop talking about OUR celebrity's divorce??!!

Again - we've GROWN UP with Elaine and the boys.  They are like FAMILY!  Plus they are public figures.  I don't feel bad at all about being concerned and curious as to what went on....especially when it seemed so sudden to us.  I think that's the real shocker....it came out of no where as far as we could see.

So I guess.....if you don't want to discuss "John & Elaine" then stay off of this leg.

I, for one, would really like to know what's behind the name change thing and WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!  Can't help it.......

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary in Michigan

Another good tune.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_cGuA7C9vs

I'm sure John,Elaine and family approve of your "discussion".

Adios.

Well that was mature....

thanks for the tunes and the recipes!
i agree that it´s none of our business. it´s totally private and has got nothing to do with john mellencamp´s music. as fans we are no way part of anybody´s family, this is all too cheap.
i wonder where america´s liberalism and sense of freedom has gone? a liberal artist like mellencamp deserves liberal fans. he has another new album out, a box set, is on an extensive tour, has been more creative in the past years than everyone....and the most important thing here seems to be who he is dating? you must all be very bored, i guess.

I repeat..................

In the leg labeled    JOHN AND ELAINE  we will talk about JOHN AND ELAINE.

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary In Michigan

Mary I back you 100%, while I dont have anything more to voice about the whole John and Elaine ordeal, you have every right to talk about it.  This is a John and Elaine section and you have not said anything offensive.  I appreciate your input on the topic and enjoy reading your posts.  I do not enjoy reading some of the other posts about recipes and using songs to help them voice there opinion, its childish and quite simply uncalled for.  This is the beauty of free speech and the internet.  And if you don't like a certain topic then don't read it.  As long as everyone is being respectful you have a right to talk about anything that is Mellencamp related. In fact if you dislike the topic so much create a new topic about disliking this topic.  Thats how this works people.

Mary thank you again for you input and feel free to post what you'd like about this subject, I will be reading.

"beige to beige thats all it is these days"

Wow - thank you.  It seems people are under the impression that we are "gossiping" about this whole situation.  We're not - at least I'm not.  I'm upset and concerned.  I know famous people need their privacy, but if we had had ANY kind of clue that there was trouble in the marriage I don't think we would be wondering and talking about it so much.  It's upsetting. 

It's also frustrating when you're trying to have "conversations" with fans of an artist and they throw back insults.  I thought we were all on the same page on this website...Mellencamp friends and fans.  Didn't think we were here to attack each other.

Anyway -  thanks for your support!

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary in Michigan

Please Read: There are all kinds of John Mellencamp fans. Some fans are only interested in John’s music there are other fans that are interested all facets of John's experience, not just his music, such as Elaine and their family.

While we do not encourage discussion of John's personal matters we don't prohibit them either as long as they are done in a safe and fair manner. This thread contains a discussion of this type. Several complaints have been made to us about posters trying to derail the thread.

Any posts that do not fit this discussion may be deleted. Thank you for your understanding.

So - I keep wondering what happened....and in that wondering I found myself looking at my own life.  My husband is a high school ski coach...has been for our whole 30 year marriage.  I hate ski season.  Every plan we try to make is interrupted with phone calls, or newly announced meetings, ski meets etc.  It takes all his free time.  I can only imagine what it's like to be married to a performer like John.  I imagine there is very little free time to spend with family and what ever free time there is is often interupted.  Guess it really sunk in when I was trying to talk to my husband about something and his phone kept ringing. My problems last the winter....John's and Elaine's would last year round.  It has to be hard.

Thanks for listening.....just rambling "out loud."

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary in Michigan

Why is it such an issue to have this as a discussion?  If you don't want to read it or be a part of it, there are pleny of other topics on this site.  Freedom of speech is what I call it.  Tony said it best as always!   :)

I don't think it is an issue....that's why I keep talking about it!! ;D

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"

Mary in Michigan

This is a private matter and we as fans and friends should take a step back and let John and Elaine work things out.  I wish them the best.




Mike 

Mary and Wildnight, I agree with you guys. Yes, a divorce is a private matter. But when people are in the public eye like John Mellencamp, you give up some of your private life for the fame and fortune you achieve. Success of any kind is not without it's pitfalls.

Personally for me, the break up of John and Elaine has been upsetting to me. I thought she was finally the one who had tamed his wild side, but apparently not. Yes, it is none of my business, but I still have an opinion. If John knew my life, he might have an opinion about me as well. John certainly has opinions on many topics in society. That is part of the reason I like him.

One more little jab....everyone who knows me, knows I have always disliked Meg Ryan. So my favorite rocker hooking up with her has been very hard to stomach. (Yes, none of my business, just opinion)

Yes this is a private matter. And yes people are allowed to have an opinion.

In the end though, none of us know the people involved here. What we read about them in the (gossip)media might not be anywhere near the truth for instance.

Anyway, John was seen repeatedly with Meg Ryan these past few weeks, even this weekend, so i guess we will have to get used to it.

slm106

Thanks for voicing your opinion....that's the whole point of this thread...to hear what other fans are feeling and thinking, to share our feelings and thoughts.....because who else is gonna listen, right?!!

Thanks again.

"-somedays I still don't know what to do-"
Mary in Michigan

Mary,
    I've been trying to figure this out also. It is sad and a little hard to get used to I guess. I married my husband the year before John and Elaine got married so when John would forget how long he was married and jump it ahead, I would always laugh and so no, one year less than me. I guess that one is gone now.
    The main reason I am replying is that what you have experienced on this board is the very reason I stopped participating on clubcherrybomb and haven't really done a lot on here. No one wants to start world war III with a post and it shouldn't! I enjoy reading your messages, on the board and on the mailing list, so keep on plugging away!

Lisa

I agree with MNorris.  I hate posting and getting a verbal lashing. I did not read every word in this thread. Upon scanning it, though, I did not see anything distasteful.  John got a divorce. People are talking about it.  What is the big deal?  I would like to hear something from Elaine's side.  Is that wrong?  It's really just curiosity.  In good taste, curiosity is fine.  I think most of us are too old to be ditasteful. 

Watching a Dec 2010 Interview on Letterman. No wedding ring then.